animalstalkinginallcaps:

NOT A SINGLE KIBBLE OR BEGGIN’ STRIP IN THE WHOLE CUPBOARD BUT SHE’S GOT $40 A MONTH FOR UNLIMITED TANNING DOWN AT DESERT SUN. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT HOW MUCH HER LAST TRIP TO THE SALON COST.

AMERICAN PRIORITIES, MAN. THEY’RE CONFUSING. THE GUY NEXT DOOR HAS A TELEVISION BIGGER THAN HIS REFRIGERATOR WITH 258 CHANNELS OF EXTENDED CABLE BUT HASN’T HAD A MUFFLER ON HIS CAR FOR SIX MONTHS.

THEN AGAIN, I’M COMPLAINING BECAUSE I’M HUNGRY, NOT BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WANT TO FIX THE UNDERLYING ISSUES. FILL THE PANTRY WITH BENEFUL SNACKIN’ SLICES AND YOU CAN TAN YOURSELF TO DEATH FOR ALL I CARE.